Breaking up with someone can be a daunting experience. Now imagine not only breaking up with someone, but being stuck with that someone at work!
Sometimes love may blossom at work and sometimes…well, it doesn’t. Afterwards, you may contemplate quitting your job. But you may like your current job, find it comfortable there or you’re simply not keen on changing your workplace.
That’s when you need to work on defusing this emotional time bomb.
Here are 4 things you need to keep in mind when you and your ex have to co-exist within the same working space:
1- Talking about What Happened:
Yes, it’s a necessary evil and the mature course of action. Regardless of what caused the breakup, it’s beneficial to talk things through in an attempt to eliminate any bad blood. Who knows? Maybe you can reach some sort of an agreement or even work things out.
2- Adapting with Seeing Them Daily:
Maybe talking things out can help alleviate the tensions and maybe it doesn’t. Nonetheless, you have to cope with the certainty that you will deal with your ex on a daily basis and that you will be seeing a lot of them during the day. You will see them at the printing machine, the water cooler, and most likely anywhere you do your best to try to avoid bumping into them.
This may drive you insane but since you decided that you want to keep your job, you have to ground yourself with a set of rules that will help you cope with the new situation.
You can minimize contact with them and your mutual friends until you are fully healed or avoid communication with them altogether as you deem fit. And as tough as it is, you will have to build a form of resistance to hearing their name or their news within the work environment, especially if you work in the same department or departments that service each other.
You can arrange a temporary leave until you are ready to return back to the work environment feeling fresh and prepared to face this paradigm shift.
3- Having a Closure:
You need closure! Whether mutual or simply create one on your own, it doesn’t matter. You have to close this chapter in your life.
After this closure, you can move on and stand firmly by your decision. Only then you can focus on the important, relevant things.
4- Setting Boundaries:
The final challenge is dealing with colleagues around you.
Getting over someone is easier said than done, and a chat with a coworker, a rumor or hearing gossip here and there can lead you to feel uneasy and vulnerable in your workplace.
That’s why it’s important to set boundaries; tell your colleagues you don’t want to talk about it, try to avoid gossips at first, and above all, pay little mind to rumors. Although they are usually unavoidable, disengaging them will eventually burn them out.
On another note, if you agreed to be on good terms with your ex, set boundaries with them to avoid any unnecessary drama.
Understand that it’s not the end of the world, and that eventually, you will be okay.