One of the worst things after any breakup is triggers: songs, places, scents, even expressions that trigger a memory reminding you of the heartbreak. Indeed, the greatest challenge in an openly communicative world is to overcome these triggers, thanks to social media applications.
Now, it’s very easy to check up on your ex—if none blocked the other—and follow up with their news and whereabouts. Ever caught yourself wondering why am I doing this? And sometimes, why can’t I stop it?
What really goes in your head when you are stalking your ex on social media?
1- Sheer Curiosity:
“I just wanna know how he/she is doing,” your mind may say. You might want to have this sensation that this separation mattered to them.
2- It’s Very Easy to Do:
Imagine breaking up with someone before social media, how hard was it to follow up on their news. Mostly, this was done through mutual friends—if there are any—and not as easily as it is nowadays.
One can’t help but wonder what was it like to stalk your ex before social media.
The fact that it’s easy to do makes you ask the magical two-word question: why not?
3- There Are No Consequences!
Apart from the accidental like on an image or post, there are no real (dire) consequences. Even with the accidental like, given you’re both still connected via Facebook or the like, it’s safe to assume that you both want to stay in the vicinity of each other’s lives.
That combined with the ease of going through their feed, you will, most likely, spend hours and hours checking everything with the utmost attention to details.
Maybe the breakup wasn’t that smooth, maybe it didn’t end on good terms. You may keep looking at the name, wondering if you can talk to her/him again and wondering whether there is a chance to fix this.
These what ifs and if onlys will be one of the most common things running through your head: Should I have said that? Could that pan out better that this? Is she/he the one who got away? Guilt and regret may drive you to keep trying to reconnect with the presence of your ex in your life.
5- Mustering the Courage to Say “Hi”
And in the end, it could be something very simple as this: You just want to say hi, and you are gathering your courage. You just left things unsaid and undone and you want to change that. Maybe she/he are genuinely good people, albeit things didn’t work out; you feel that you can be friends again and that you can reconnect but the heartbreak was too much.
How Does That Affect You?
The effect of stalking your ex can render you dysfunctional. You won’t be able to move on. Not to mention that it may even ruin any prospects for you.
Imagine being with someone and you tell them or they find out that you stalk your ex. However adorable it may seem at first, no one likes to feel like a backup plan in any relationship.
Sometimes, the cure for this can simply be the passage of time. Or just saying hi. Sure, your heart will skip a beat or two, but at least you will feel relieved.
The question will linger no more.
And maybe then you start to realize that stalking them is not fulfilling anymore.