Sometimes we really mean well. We do. And we just want to help whoever we see with their problems and what better way to do that than with giving some solid advice?
Well…here’s the unfortunate thing. Sometimes the advice we give harms more than it hurts. Actually (wait for it), sometimes they’re just insulting, just like these down below!
Type of advice: the ones about looks or style…when the person didn’t even ask
So a person meets you and they have done something significantly different to their appearance. Maybe they had a haircut or they’re wearing something they wouldn’t typically wear.
Unless they insisted on genuine feedback, what they’re expecting is something like ‘hey, you look good today‘ or just a compliment in general. Not a “oh you should have done this” like you couldn’t wait to say the haircut or the outfit or whatever it is doesn’t suit them.
Type of advice: “you need to smile more”
Why would you do this? No, seriously. What would possess you, at any given time, to pepper in the fact that you think this person should smile because, in your eyes, that makes them look better? It’s just rude.
Type of advice: the ones that hints they haven’t been trying their best
Sometimes a person might come to you for advice, actually expecting your help.
What you should do here is give your advice without saying typical things like “you should have” or “why didn’t you” like you expect that the person hasn’t done their best. Imagine the places reversed for just a minute there.
Type of advice: “say yes to everything!”
Please don’t tell someone that they should “say yes” to automatically anything. That’s just bad advice. Sure, being open to more possibilities is always great and will give the person a chance to grow.
But being that overwhelmingly available can be just as harmful, especially if the person in question isn’t really for everything all at once.
Type of advice: the ones that seem wildly patronizing
You might not realize it, but sometimes people give advice that make them seem like they’re sitting atop a metaphorical high horse like they’re automatically better than whoever it is they’re talking to.
Just don’t be patronizing, that’s it. Try to be kind while giving your advice and avoid being overly critical of the person because that’s not even what they’re coming to you for.
Type of advice: “m3lsh + anything”
Immediately bad. That’s what any kind of advice starting with the word “m3lsh” is. Sure, sometimes it awkwardly slips out and that’s always a negative of the language but try to work on it.
Just skip to the other part of the sentence and save your ‘m3lsh’s for some other time.
