We’re at an eraĀ where many women are choosing to make their voices heard and are more willing than ever to take charge of their own lives. We’re at an age where feminists are not scared of making their stance on gender equality loud and clear. Sexism, at least overt sexism, does not easily slide by anymore in comparison to previous decades. Traditional gender roles are on a constant questioning worldwide and the product of this hope-inducing phenomenon is the empowermentĀ of a generation of independent, strong-willed women. A generation that defies traditional gender norms and shatters the glass ceiling.

It remains, however, quite the daunting fact that some heterosexual men feel confused, or at times even intimidated, by the empowerment and independence of heterosexual women. Women who are not afraid to express their individuality are sometimes met with disapproving frowns and sights of disbelief. After all, women have always been traditionally thought of as damsels in distress- fragile creatures waiting to be scooped up by a knight in shining armor. How many women, though, in this day and age are is the complete opposite- we’re slaying our own dragons.

The question is still afloat, waiting to be answered; how can one date an independent woman without downplaying her sense of empowerment?

Empower Her to Grow:

An independent woman doesn’t need you to stand there by the door shaking your head in disapproval and telling her that her dreams are too big “for a woman.” Trust me, she’ll run the other way before you can even think of an apology to make up for your purely insulting sexist remark. Instead, support her professional, educational or creative endeavors. Never try to act as a buffer in the way of her success as a means of being in control or acting macho.

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Respect Her Financial Independence:

When the tab comes and she offers to pay her half of the check, don’t tell her she can’t do that because you’re “the man” and she’s “the woman” and “that’s how things work.” Instead, either allow her to pay and respect her decision to be financially independent or offer to pay this time and promise that she can take care of it the next time. No one should ever be obliged to pay for anyone all the time. If you want to treat the other person and spoil them because they deserve it, then by all means, go ahead and make that lovely gesture. Just never attempt to make her feel that just because she was born a woman, she has to act as a financial burden on you every single time you go out.

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Give Her Her Needed Space:Ā 

An independent woman is one who will easily enjoy going for a jog by herself or taking an hour or two a day to spend alone reading or painting or doing whatever it is that she loves to do. Respect her need for taking some time out for herself and don’t beĀ clingy. Yes, I do understand that you might want to spend every waking free minute with her, and trust me, she does enjoy your company, but we all do need our alone time.

Don’t Be Intimidated By Her Forwardness:

An independent woman is confident in her skin and will speak her mind and vocalize her thoughts. Don’t be taken aback because you think “girls should be more reserved and shy.” If anything, she’s displaying a form of honesty that many others do not have the confidence to show, and that in itself is something to be appreciated and respected.

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Debate Rather Than Try to Dictate:

So instead of insisting on things always going your way, discuss the issue on hand openly with her and let your thoughts be heard. She will do the same and then make sure you both reach a win-win compromise that works for both parties. Don’t try to to assert your opinion all the time, simply because “the man should control things.” Being born male does not give you a veto right to constantly dictate your partner’s life choices.

All in all, I, as a feminist and an advocate of gender equality, really do believe that there’s much room for hope for us to rise above sexism. I do understand that many guys still feel intimidated and taken aback by unashamed, independent women, because of the way they were socialized ever since they were children was flawed and biased. It is, however, time to realize that an independent woman is not a menace- she is a person, in charge of her own life.