It’s so damn tiring! Experts didn’t call it Relationship Cyclingย for no reason. Breaking up, and making up again and again, and yep again is as tiring as cycling in 40 degrees Celsius heat! Everyone around you asks you to just stop, to break the mold, to not go back to each other, but you can’t seem to put the brakes on it! Is it the right decision to make up? To break up? We don’t know about that, pal, what we know is that you can’t solve a problem, without pinpointing it first. So if you suffer from cycling, here are 7 reasons why this might be happening…
Reason #1 Inability To Recover From The Breakupย
It didn’t work. You broke up, and you had yourself a big pity party. But you can’t move on. Not because you were a perfect match, but you can’t play through the pain! You can’t recover.ย In such a case the desire to get back together is fueled by the person’s helplessnessย to tolerate the pain of the breakup.
Reason #2ย Believing In Second Chancesย
One of you messed up. Or maybe you both did. So you broke up. And then that sneaky creature called Hopeย shows up!ย It tiptoes through a hidden back door, and we start believing that things can change, can be better! Well, maybe. OR it’s just lather, rinse, repeat!
Reason #3 No Better Option!ย
This one is a bit harsh, but come on the worst thing you can do to yourself is lying to yourself! You can’t find a better replacement to this person! Youย assumed you’re going to find a better match. But when you didn’t, you took the easy way. Instead of waiting, you went back to your safety net! Your ex!
Reason #4 Low Conflict Resolution Skillsย
You both fail your ‘How To Fight’ test! You don’t have the skills for it, so any passing by fight between both of you, rocks the boat. And you end up breaking up! And then you miss each other, so you make up. If so, your problem is easy, you simply have to work on these skills and master them for it to work.
Reason #5 You Want To See What’s Out Thereย
Usually happens between couples who had been together for a long period. Boredom knocks on the door, instead of kicking it out, or tolerating this unwelcome guest for a while, you both flee the house. You think fun is waiting just outside this relationship. So you break up. And then you get cold water splash into your face that yes boredom is a resident of all relationships, so you get back together.
Reason #6 You’ve Already Invested So Muchย
“Am I going to start over with someone new? Get to know them, and they get to know me? Hell no!”ย After investing so much time and effort in a person, you might not be able to simply let them go! You try to fix it, you don’t see any other option.
Reason #7 C’est L’Amour
Or, it might not be bad relationship skills, or theย fear of starting over, or any of the above! Maybe both of you are simply aware of the genuine reasons why you want to try again, why you keep going back to each other despite everything. You love each other. And yes, sometimes love simply wins!
Do you have any more reasons to add to the list?ย
