Who in here hasn’t been in a situation like this before? You get asked out by someone you have absolutely no feelings for but you don’t want to break their heart with your rejection. What do you do in such scenarios? Is there a way to turn them down without hurting their feelings? We’re here to give you the ultimate solution!
Before we go into the details of how to go about this, you have to remember one thing. Honesty is key! Being true to yourself should be on your mind at all times.
So, without further ado, let us share some tips to help you find a way out without being the bad guy after all.
Check In With Yourself
Before deciding to take any step, you first need to make sure this is exactly what you want. Focus on your feelings, start assessing them and understanding the underlying reasons behind them.
This step will help assure you that you’re doing the right thing and help you feel confident doing it. If you know there’s no way you could be with that person, you’ll be certain telling them that.
Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings
Once you have it all sorted out with your own feelings, it’s your turn to think about theirs before saying anything. Understand that, unlike you, they have strong feelings for you and that’s something that needs to be respected.
It’s important to understand that their sadness is inevitable. Of course what you’re about to say is nowhere near what they want to hear but at least you’re being honest with them as well as yourself.
Be Honest
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, be clear and get straight to the point to avoid any misunderstandings! Honesty is always key. Say everything on your mind, but try to say it nicely.
If you feel like you have no chemistry, tell them exactly that! Since chemistry isn’t something you can really work on, they should be able to understand it’s a definite no.
Have Empathy
Put yourself in their shoes. What would you want to hear? Rejection is not a desirable thing for pretty much anyone but at least try to make it not suck too much. Just imagine being on the opposite side of the spectrum, you wouldn’t want to hear anything that brings down your self esteem.
Give them a compliment! We don’t mean using the old cliche “it’s not you, it’s me” line. Make it more personal. Tell them how amazing they are and how flattering it is that they feel this way about you but you just wouldn’t be doing them justice. Be empathetic with their feelings, it’s the least you can do.
Don’t Drag It Out
If they wondered how you feel about them since a long time and you still haven’t given them a definite reply, do it! And if you’ve already been on a couple dates and don’t feel the spark, tell them right away! Don’t wait until they’ve fallen more in love with you to tell them you don’t feel the same way about them.
If you’re sure about your feelings, don’t lead them on!
Keep It simple
It can be tempting during the rejection phase to want to offer something that makes the other person feel better. Leaving the door open when you know it’s really closed can end up being more hurtful, even if you’re trying to turn someone down gently.
Give no promises because you wouldn’t want to give them even the slightest bit of hope if there isn’t any from your side. Don’t keep them waiting! The good news is that rejecting someone with kindness can be as simple as saying, “Thank you for the sweet words, but I’m not feeling a romantic connection”. Keep it short and sweet!
