They say brains are our smartest organs, but I disagree. You can trick your brain into doing something it doesn’t want to do. But when it comes to the heart…no sir. Come hell or high water, you can’t force your heart into doing anything it doesn’t want to do. So which one deserves the smarty medal between the two organs?

Admit it or not, we are all constantly in search of love. And that’s absolutely fine. But sometimes depression, needs, fear, etc.. blind us and we start to force ourselves into loving someone.

If something seems just a bit off in your relationship, consider these seven things: 

1. You wonder if happy relationships exist

You tell yourself ‘Grow up, this ain’t Utopia. There is no such thing as happy relationships!’ It might be true that there is no perfect relationship, because we are all imperfect. But there is absolutely a happy relationship. I guess you’re in trouble if you don’t agree.

2. There is a small part of you that hopes he/she will break things off

You try to hush this nagging voice at the back of your head that contradicts everything in your relationship. That part gets happy when you fight, gets scared when you talk about marriage… That rebellious part is your heart trying to escape this prison.

3. You’re rushing on with the relationship 

The opposite of the previous sign, and that’s because you’re afraid if you didn’t rush on with the relationship and move it to the next level, you will change your mind. And then you will be alone. Loneliness scares you the most.

4. You’re suddenly experiencing extreme mood shifts 

Relationships come with a workload. For two people to have their lives intertwined together, that’s not an easy one to swallow. So when you don’t love this other person, you will definitely choke! The translation of that will be in mood swings form.

5. When you fight you hear yourself saying things for the first time

When you’re forcing yourself to love someone, you don’t even allow yourself to think that. So automatically your brain tries to hide the things you might hate or dislike about this person (told you, it’s a stupid organ). It all comes out when you’re fighting and have no control over your thoughts.

6. Your eyes are wandering somewhere else 

The most obvious of signs, and I don’t think you need an explanation for this one! If you’re really in love, you will never see anyone but the person you love. Everyone else will fade.

7. He/she is a good person, but… 

That ‘but’ ruins it all! He/she is a good person, funny, smart, ambitious, and a whole bunch of other great things. BUT you’re not in love with this person! You’re forcing it!

Who better to conclude the topic than Paulo Coelho “Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.” So don’t do that to yourself.