Being a single parent is complicated. And that’s probably as big an understatement as an understatement could get, but it’s true. Whether it’s by way of divorce or death, raising a kid/kids alone is difficult and comes with its own challenges.
But what happens if the single parent in question, well, doesn’t want to be single anymore? That’s always a possibility, we know. But here’s a curveball for you here:
Should the kid (or kids) in question have a say on the whole issue of their single parent(s) remarrying?
So, here’s the thing. We know that there’s an answer a lot of you reading will immediately think of, depending on your viewpoints.
But like we said, being a single parent isn’t exactly complication-free. And being a kid with a single parent won’t render you ridden of emotions.
You will have emotions either way and the whole thing might sucker-punch you in the face if it’s really up for discussion. A lot of the time, the kids won’t even be subtle about their vehement rejection of their parents’ remarrying and many parents already expect the resounding ‘no’s.
But what a lot of parents do is simply agree and move on. And that’s, for a lack of better words, bad because no one should be resigned to just saying ‘the kids are right‘ and ‘I’ll end that part of my life‘ if they don’t want to.
What parents should do instead is talk to their kids. Yes, that’s it. They should talk.
See, that thing is — parents should validate their kids’ feelings. That’s just crucial and a part of good parenting. But it shouldn’t end there.
What should happen after this is that the parents themselves should also talk to their kids about their own feelings. They should let their kids know that they are people, too — not just parents. And that their lives don’t have expiry dates.
With a talk like this, both the kid and the parent should be able to reach an understanding. We’re not seeing it’ll be a hugs-and-kisses understanding; it might be brilliantly bitter for the kids who can’t quite accept it…but it will be an understanding nonetheless. And that’s literally what you should be aiming for.
