By: Hana Makhlouf
You know you’ve been gone for too long when you forget how many spoons of sugar your grandma likes in her tea or when you see your relatives carrying their own children in their hands. Or even worse, when you don’t see your relatives again. Ever.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when you go from being a part of the family to being a guest, when your aunt has to take your cousin into a room and tell him to behave himself because ‘it’s only a month, and then they’ll leave’.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when your relatives mistake you for one of your parents because you’ve grown so much and they haven’t been able to witness that. And they so naively ask which sibling you are because the last time they saw you, your hair was braided and you wore a Barbie dress. Now, your lips and eyes are lined and you carry a handbag.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when you have to apologise for saying words that people don’t understand and explain that that’s what they are called in the country you now live in.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I meant to say ‘عربية’. You see, they call it a ‘’سيارة back there.’
You know you’ve been gone for too long when you start missing the small things about your new country of residence. Heck, you even question if that country is only your country of ‘temporary’ residence. You miss the people, the places, the vibes and the atmosphere.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when you start converting everything back to the currency of the country you’re staying in.
How much is 100 L.E.?
How much is 2000 L.E.?
How much is 10000 L.E.?
You start to become a walking calculator, converting everything back to your other currency and instantly comparing it to how much it would cost back in your country of residence.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when your relatives start making the ‘انتي خلاص مبقتيش مصرية’ and the ‘انتي هتخدي الجنسية امتى؟’ jokes because they feel like you’re so distant from them now.
You know you’ve been gone for too long when your eyes get drier with the passing years and goodbyes don’t feel the same. When you hug your relatives not knowing if you’ll ever hug them again, and somehow, it takes an eternity to shed a tear. When you’re in the car on your way to the airport, looking out of the window, staring at the beautifully chaotic Cairo, not really knowing when you’ll be back or how long you’ll be back for, but for once, for a split second, you feel like this is where you belong. And at that moment, uncontrollably, the tears come streaming down as you watch the sun set behind the Citadel.
And you realise that maybe -just maybe- you’ve been gone for a little too long.
