Consider this article a pre-Ramadan piece of advice. Ramadan, a huge part of the Egyptian culture, is just around the corner. I thought I’d discuss the many annoying meaningless practices we all tend to engage in during the holy month, in order to try and lessen their frequency this year. Here’s what we all need to avoid doing this Ramadan in order to refrain from irritating the already exhausted, starving and drenched individuals around us:

Binge-watching TV Series like there’s No Tomorrow and Excepting Us All to Do the Same:

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You know the people who come around to work the next morning and attempt to discuss what happened in the 10 different episodes that aired last night, like I’m supposed to be on the lookout for everything GhadaAbdelrazek, HaifaaWehbe, FifiAbdou, Adel Imam, Dorra, Mostafa Sha’ban, Yousra, Nelly Karim and Ruby’s characters have been up to.

I don’t think I actually have enough patience to withstand ¾ of Ramadan’s infamously drama-laden series. Neither do I want to sit here and learn about prostitution and what goes on in Egypt’s shabby cabarets all day long either. So, please do refrain from trying to drag me into your cult of Egyptian series binge-watchers.

 

Arriving Late to ‘3ozoomat’ and Keeping Everyone Starving and Waiting:

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I just have one thing to say: you’re not royalty and I will not wait for your extremely unfashionably late self to arrive. I know pre-iftar traffic is literally a mess, but still, that is no excuse- leave earlier. We’ve been fasting for more than half the day- we get to eat regardless of whether you’ve arrived or not because I don’t think etiquette was ever applied during The Hunger Games and neither should it be applied in this case.

Coming to Work and Discussing Yesterday’s Delicious Iftar While We’re All Fasting:

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Or worse, showing us pictures to prove it. I understand that your aunt’s Nutella-laden Konafa was out of this world, but like, please understand that we’re all hungry as it is without your detailed description of yesterday’s collision of flavours  on your dining table.

Being Overly Extravagant and Lavish and Defeating the Whole Purpose of Ramadan:

 

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I mean if you know, for a fact, that you only have 8 people coming over for iftar, why cook enough food to feed 20 people? It’s a total waste, unless you’re planning to box the left-overs and give it away to the less fortunate.

To wrap this overdue rant up, do refrain from doing all the things mentioned above- for the sake of our mental well-being and your physical safety- just kidding. In all seriousness though, be sure to focus on what Ramadan is all about: serenity, faith and warm gatherings. Finally, allow all of us here at Identity to be the first ones to wish you a Ramadan Kareem this year.